It feels as though this series just started, but here it is, the Girls Season 4 finale.
With Hannah and the gang reluctantly accepting it’s time to grow up (slightly) and creator Lena Dunham admitting she only ever planned to film four short series of the show, is this the end of the road for our shambolic Brooklyn friends?
Unless a lot of loose ends get tied up in tonight’s episode, we’re going to be left hoping there’s a Season 5 on the way. Or forever be furious that we never got to see how it all worked out.
Here’s some things I’d like to see happen in the finale, just incase it’s the last time we get to see Girls on our screens…
1. Marnie loses her voice
Seriously, enough already! Has there ever been a more cringey crooner than the wannabe songstress?
As annoyingly gorgeous as she is, Marnie’s self-proclaimed songwriting ‘talent’ is not something she should be hinging her future on.
More disturbing is the creepy loser she seems to have attracted in her attempt to forge some sort of modern day June and Johnny Cash setup.
Lose the voice, lose the loser. Because he ain’t hanging around if there’s no dollars to be made.
2. Adam lets Hannah rescue him
Because we all know that’s what this is about. The only way Hannah can save herself from her own insecurities is to save someone else that’s even more fucked up than she is.
Adam was always meant to be the challenge she took on and won. And for a while it looked like she was winning – she had the boy, the relationship, the job, the cohabiting.
It was all working out and so she decided to test it by moving to Iowa. He failed the test – he gave up on her and moved on, way too quickly, when all she wanted him to do was say that he needed her to stay.
So come on Adam, just let her save you from yourself. It’s the only way to settle this once and for all!
3. Shoshanna says it like it is
One of my favourite episodes of Girls was in Season 3 when Shoshanna went cray cray and told her so-called friends what she really thought of them.
Given that the friendships haven’t really improved during this season, it’s about time Shoshanna reminded the girls that their behaviour towards each other is anything but friendly.
4. Jessa hooks up with Pete Doherty
Let’s face it, he’s her soulmate. Kate Moss couldn’t handle Pete’s hardcore lifestyle but I have every confidence that Jessa could.
The English wild child would bond with the Libertines frontman during another stint in rehab and become his latest muse.
Jessa’s always been my favourite Girls character so I’d like a happy ending for her and this would be it.
5. Hannah dresses like a sane person
I don’t completely hate Hannah’s wardrobe but I’d say her choices are usually questionable.
Apart from the few passable dresses she owns, Hannah’s wardrobe is a complete reflection of her life: a mess.
I get the whole trying to look like a hipster (who manage to all look the same while trying so hard to look ‘different’!) with clashing prints and thrift store buys.
But, after watching her lurch from crisis to crisis in a series of ill-fitting shirts, I think it’s about time she paid more attention to how she dresses.
I’m not saying she has to have some sort of Victoria Beckham makeover but not looking like a Texan trucker would be a great start.
And that lizard crop top has to go. WTF even is that.
6. Mimi Rose Howard gets punched in the face
Just because. We’ve all been there, when you get replaced with someone else it’s always the worst person possible.
They’re either way worse than you or way better. Either way, you’re the loser who’s on your own while your ex has moved on to better/worse things.
Mimi Rose is better on paper than Hannah, which only serves to fuel her self-obsessiveness and insecurity.
And to add insult to injury she was only ever using Adam anyway. That alone is reason enough to punch her in the face.
7. Hannah writes a self help book
Because Hannah being a teacher doesn’t work out for anyone.
If the phrase ‘those who can’t, teach’ was where Hannah got the idea to enter the world of education then she really does need to assess her life choices.
Given that her mental age is on par with her potential students, Hannah should really steer clear of trying to educate impressionable youngsters on life.
A self help book is a win-win for Hannah. She could inadvertently end up helping herself through writing about her life, finally identifying what her problem is and why she can’t get her shit together, ever.
Way cheaper then eternal therapy sessions.
8. The Girls finally realise what true friendship is (and value it)
One of the main reasons people don’t like Girls is that there’s not one character you can truly like.
Likeability is a big part of identifying with a character, unless you hate yourself and therefore that’s not an issue.
These girls are horrible to each other.
In moments of need they resort to avoidance, ridicule and even pleasure that one of their so-called friends is a bigger fuck up than they are.
Is that really what girls are like these days? Whatever happened to girl power (ahem, ’90s kid over here)?
There’s enough people in the world queuing up to smile smugly when you fail, your friends shouldn’t be on that list.
The UK series finale of Girls Season 4 airs on Sky Atlantic at 10pm, Monday 23rd February 2015