It’s that depressing time of year when you realise all the parties are over and the return to the office is imminent. I don’t bother with resolutions, usually because I manage to break them before the ink’s dried on the list, but I thought I’d come up with some this year that may be achievable. And also remind myself of the ones that are definitely unachievable, no matter what year it is…
1 Clear out the closet
Anything that has tags/not been worn ever/not been worn in 6 months/only ever been tried on in the safety of my bedroom is going, going, gone. Whether it’s ebay or the nearest charity shop, it’s time to say goodbye to the ghosts of fashions past, taking up precious dust-gathering space in my shiny new wardrobes.
2 Stop panic-buying
I need to realise that the sinking feeling when I look at my wardrobe is not due to lack of clothes. It’s due to lack of clothes that I want to wear. Maybe if I clear out the stuff I hate, I’ll be able to get a better view of the things that make me look and feel good, no matter how many times they’ve had an outing. And no amount of free next day delivery offers from asos is going to tempt me. Honest.
3 Use a make-up bag
I’m sure there’s more bacteria in my handbag than the average public toilet, so is it any wonder my make-up brushes are usually awash with spot-transmitting particles? Time to clean up my act and get used to simple storage habits. It may also save me time when trying to find my keys on the way home from a night out…
4 No more chips
It’s not a ban on the deep-fried variety (though that may not be a bad idea) but a vow to get rid of varnish the minute it starts flaking. Years ago, a stylist I worked with told me chipped nail polish looked cool. I think she lied. But then it was Shoreditch and maybe that’s fine. This year I’m going to aim to keep some nail polish remover handy at all times. And vow not to varnish over three-day-old colour.
5 Invest in a grown-up handbag
I’m 30 this year and while the thought of not being a twentysomething actually terrifies me, there’s got to be an upside, right? A trip to New York City a few days after I officially say goodbye to my twenties is the perfect excuse to treat myself to a designer handbag. I’ve heard that Marc Jacobs does a good range of consolation goodies, designed to keep you looking young and happy… I intend to find out if that’s true!
THE ETERNAL FAILURES
1 Lose weight
From Patsy Kensit promoting the joys of WeightWatchers to Davina McCall inflicting her latest workout DVD on us, January is the month when we are most vulnerable to the promise of shedding some pounds in a few simple steps. Why’s it always so hard then? Maybe because we’re not pampered celebs with endless hours of the day to fill counting maple syrup shots or carb allowances? Generally, the only thing we lose is our hard-earned cash when we sign up to the latest get thin quick scheme. Save your pennies and starve yourself instead, at least then you’ll have some money left over to fit into that dress you’ve been lusting after. I’m joking of course, but you get the point.
2 Delete his number
This will be the year you finally say goodbye to that toxic waster that’s clogging up your recently dialled list. But then, who would entertain you at 2am on a Sunday morning after one too many sambucas? Exactly. Plus, no one actually believes you didn’t write his number in your diary before you deleted him digitally. Especially him. Maybe read this self-help book instead, written by a self-confessed bad boy/toxic waster type:
3 Open a savings account
Apart from the fact that there are so many rainy days in Scotland that you don’t need to save for one, what’s the actual point in this? Living costs are rising, wages are standing still and we’ll probably all be dead before we’re old enough to retire if the government has its way. And do you think we’re stupid enough to let the banks keep anything safe for us these days? Thought not.
4 Learn a language
While the thought of mastering an exotic new language is appealing, there will never be enough hours in the day to take an evening class in Spanish/Italian/Russian. Unless the teacher is a cultured piece of eye candy of course. Plus, when in doubt, isn’t that what Google Translate is for?
5 Stop smoking/drinking/eating chocolate/reading horoscopes
Anything we have to try hard to give up is always a pleasure, guilty or otherwise. Denial is bad for the soul, indulge and be happy. In moderation, of course.
Wishing you all a happy and hopefully prosperous 2013!